Junkie

It’s good music for early October

When the leaves are falling from the trees

And the wind carries your intentions just right. 

On the gloomy days when it’s just depressing

And you should have stayed home but you didn’t 

And now you find yourself staring at the Skittles

Inside the convenience store, wondering why 

They don’t carry the sour ones. 

It’s even better music for when

It’s raining in the winter. 

When all of the snow is melting away

And it’s oddly warm out. 

That’s global warming for you, when the angels

Are crying and there’s nothing

Anyone can say to make them feel better

About the state of their wings and their halo. 

It’s just dark and unforgiving and isolating.

You would give anything to go home but 

Where is home now? 

It’s not a place but a memory stored secretly

In the back of your mind.

You pull it out when you need it most

Fearing that if you visit home too much

That you will eventually forget about it

And you won’t ever be able to return. 

Because everytime you go back it changes

And everytime is less fulfilling than the last.

That is hell so all you do is listen to the music

And hope one day it sounds like it did

The first time you heard it laying in your bed

Wishing for something better, but realizing

This is all you got. 

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Cover Photo by Karol Wisniewski.