Men Who Read Hemingway (And Other Lies)
1. Men who read Hemingway
Men who make Hemingway part of their personality, who would shed their own skin to receive 5 minutes of his chauvinistic advice are nearly the dullest of men. Unfortunately, they are in competition with the men who recommend you read Hemingway—for no good reason—simply to show off and kick out a large name like “Ernest Hemingway.”
2. Strawberries and chocolate taste good
Hard crackle of chocolate greets your mouth lovingly, a smooth thickness - gorgeous. Then, your mouth is invaded; war breaks out against your taste buds. This is not what you want to be eating. The sickly mush of strawberry lines your gums, your tongue is frantic—sweeping at and away the irritatingly tiny seeds which have now embedded themselves in between your teeth. A grand pain to eat.
3. The truth hurts
At first, yes. It does ache a little bit. But, what hurts more is being lied to. Being told the truth can sort of injure you, cut your ego slightly, slash your old wounds. Over time, you crave the Truth. You begin to yearn for people to be in their most honest state.
4. ‘Home’ exists
"What is Home?" This question immediately disorientates me.
Poetry has become a sort of Homecoming for me. The process of building stanzas, putting the commas in where I please, plucking metaphors out of myself—all of this has given me a Home. When I began writing poetry as a child, it was as if I had crossed a border. In the political sense, borders are artificial things, with practical, hard consequences. They sever the “self” from the self. But poetry mended me, sewed up the division between my familiar and foreign. Once I made writing my Home, I could keep leaving my tender wounds there. I have a Home to constantly return to.
6. Crying over spilt milk is useless
Crying is never, ever useless. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. Spilt milk (in the metaphorical and literal sense) is a very saddening thing (especially if you are a cat) - so give yourself the space to sob.
7. Some people don’t like reading
I am a firm believer that people just haven’t found the right book yet. I spend 86% of my time convincing my friends of this.
8. To go Dutch
POV: you’re watching a Kurdish family fight over the bill. *
Your uncle lurches forward, brows sweaty, fingers waving a debit card at a confused waiter. His wife throws herself in front of your dad, you hold your cousins back - no one can get to the card machine before he does. Your dad shouts at the waiter, “Take my card. Ignore him - he is a guest!” Of course, your uncle is no guest. This lie is simply one of many to lure the waiter into picking a side: your dad’s or your uncle’s
“Let’s go, come on now, it’s covered,” your mum winks at your uncle's wife whose cheeks redden, the weirdly large vein on her forehead nearly bursting.
Your mum is the truest of Kurds, she has already covered the bill. The age old trick: “I’m off to the bathroom.” Dammit. She's done it again!
This is based on real events. *
9. Nihilism
…Is the rejection of all religious and moral principles, in the belief that life is meaningless. Yes, we are all just tiny, silly little creatures prancing around on a floating rock. In many ways, the consequences of our actions mean nothing, we probably won’t leave a lasting, epic legacy. No one will remember you.
But does that render your life meaningless? Do you need to have an everlasting legacy in order to have had a meaningful life? I think the loveliest bits of life lie in the nothingness - the sweet, short moments which you only remember being wonderful years later.
10. Love at first sight
Now this is just madness.
The human eye is such a deceiving thing. When your eyes like the look of someone, you pull the wool over your other senses. Your ears stop hearing the thrashing words that they spit out at you, your nose can’t smell the danger, your taste buds get confused - mistake the metallic blood for cherry juice.
When you are in Love, I imagine that every word stems from a tender-place, overflowing with a glorious lyricism. It is impossible to peel yourself away from the person you Love. Your senses heighten, you move around the world differently—because Love brings about Bravery.
Cover Photo by AE Hotchner. Edited by Caitlin Andrews.