meinewissenschaft, through time: 1.

1. I wonder how I could begin if not with a proclamation, if not with an arrow darted

from my mouth through the planes of red-ink into cognition; if not with the illusion

of a perfect manicure, déluge under wraps and in control.

2. More than that, I wonder how I would begin if I knew you would listen; if I knew I

was writing not to a proofreader but to you. I'm usually like this for a while. Then I

calm down. I promise. I promise. I (laying on the comforter with my head hanging

off the other side, staring at people's breath form clouds on the sidewalk)

promise.

3. I wonder about these things because I cannot answer them on my own. I speak

in assertions because I know they will be doubted. I stay silent around you for the

same reason, I think.

4. Eros may have gotten bored of the silence: he needs something to latch onto. It

is not enough to exist in thought.

5. But I wished it was. I still do. I wish desire could stay in immanence, in what

passes through us, through things. In what is unthinkable and what is unsayable.

I wish you understood me as an explosion still happening rather than one that

ended years ago.

6. Maybe part of it is understanding you never will.

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Photo Image by Egon Schiele, Galerie St. Etienne. Edited by Madison Case.